Paul R Smith Dot Com

In Defense of Amazon.com - Again.

All right. This is twice now. I have to say it again. I love book stores. I think everyone should own more books. And share more books. And read e-books. And buy books locally and on Amazon....and....

Ouch. I just hit myself with my own soap box. So, anyway, I'm sure many of you have heard of this story: Amazon.com Plays Big Brother With Famous E-Books - Bits Blog - NYTimes.com

Yes, it was a bad move on big A's part to electronically un-do people's purchase. (Caution falling irony next 3 miles.) The publisher goofed. They did not have the "e-book" rights to sell the book. Amazon's agreed NEVER do it again. But I think people's comments went A LITTLE OVERBOARD:

"This is a shame, a complete abuse of power, an indecency, a theft and whatever other world with a negative meaning anyone wants to use."

"What Amazon did is nothing short of stealing and illegal in many ways."

"I was going to buy a Kindle next month, but no longer will spend my money on what appears to be an expensive library card sold by Amazon."

Really. Amazon refunds a well known book found in any library and suddenly we live in China. Yes, DRM is bad. But right now we are just at the edge of finally getting big publishers out of the 17th century (I still think some of them churn their own butter.) and publish more e-books. Until we can finally bang the last nail in DRM's coffin, we have to put up with this nonsense. After all we all know how rare copies of 1984 and Animal Farm are. And Amazon is the only company that can sell these exclusive books. I really wish people would calm down and see that a Kindle will lead to more books everywhere, not less. This lesson will definitely stick in Amazon's PR people's playbook when some hapless IT guy hits the refund button.

And while we are at it - a little pet peeve. Why is it no one bats an eye when they pay a 50 dollar bar tab? (3 hours entertainment, mostly for friends who see you leave with Phil from Accounting.) And yet complain bitterly about a book that may cost 25 bucks in hardcover. (30 hours of entertainment. Can be used on Phil after he tells you what a good sport you were.)

Grandma Flemen Passes Away

My grandmother passed away on Friday.  I'm in New York again.

If anyone wants to know where I am today, it'll be here:

Stutzmann R & Son
22439 Jamaica Ave
Jamaica, NY 11428-2019
(718) 465-3210

2-4  7-9 on tues
Wed  9:45am funeral

I'm late on informing the world.  Sorry for the late info.   It's been a rough couple of week.  If anyone wishes to offer respects, please donate to your local food bank.  If you knew my grandma, you will understand perfectly.  No one ever went hungry in grandma's house.

Makes No Difference If You Do

All right I admit it. I look like a Depeche Mode fan who happens to be homeless. So I noticed while marooned in the Houston airport I was being looked on with distain by these fellow airport refugees. And I almost got mad. It's been rough getting home. The past 24 hours have not been kind to me:

Got into an online chat argument with someone from Boingo Airport Wi-Fi.

I almost lost this entry due to my blogging software crashing into airport wifi internet access due to vindictive airport wifi online chatting employees.

An airport shop sold me a broken extra battery device and made it so I can't return it - in the guise of helping me. 100 bucks worth of fraud which I would have caught had it not been for...

I almost lost this entry due to my blogging software crashing into airport wifi.

My work help desk failed to copy the correct drivers on my laptop so I could use wireless to catch up on my neglected work.

My flight was cancelled and it's replacement was delayed by 6 hours landing me in Houston.

And hey, I've been spending the last week in an ICU unit holding my unconscious grandmother's hand. Sleep is something my family and I have kind of let drop off our radar during our visits.

Meh.

I'm almost home. Plus - I got to see and talk with my very accomplished uncles, aunts, and cousins. All of them seem to wonder why I look like a Depeche Mode fan. And I get to go home and maybe sleep for an hour or two.

Despite all this, I'm going to act like Life's comic relief. After all, if I'm not making them laugh, I'm causing them great physical discomfort which is lowering their immune systems to something I might have picked up from the hospital. He he. And it will be right before their expensive cruise. And that might take out more people who look down on tired looking geeks.

Oh well. And remember, I'm not evil. I'm just well informed. ;-)

My Scythe Needs Sharpening

My grandmother had a nasty fall last week. It highlighted some serious health issues which were not known. And she's my last grandparent. I'm typing this in the hospital. My mom and I have been spending our nights/mornings here. 

I might be flying back to Texas tomorrow night. Poor Bren has been taking care of Jade solo for the last week. The picture by the way is from my gram's house and her pink roses.

Of course one thing I noticed with all this is how people dedicate time to how much to go on. Seriously, I love my grandma lots. But the way she's hooked up, I just want her to pass on. It's painful watching someone with so many wires and tubes. It's the dark side of technology - having so many devices dedicated to save lives, but in the case of my 86 year old grandma, it's prolonging the pain and dragging on her last chapter. I wish I could let her move on with a thought. But standard operating procedures keep holding her back.

Monsoon Season Hits Long Island

Storm's Coming.

Remains of the Day

I've held this movie hostage for a few weeks on Netflix. I finally took the time to see it. I really enjoyed it. I'm sorry to everyone else who has it on their movie queue.

It struck home about a butler who wastes his life to the old English belief of service as a perfect butler. What I found so interesting was that the butler used his devotion to his service as a shield to both romantic notions or difficult questions that would pry the butler from his robot-like devotion to an empty life.

I've seen a lot of comedians do the same thing with the phase, "just kidding" to protect others or themselves. We all remember dodge ball.

It's just sometimes you don't know how cruel it can be avoiding the hard parts of your life. The trap is you devote yourself to a role you think people will accept more. You keep using your old lines feeling comfortable and it works for a while. But after time, you find yourself in a scene long after your promised exit - feeling very much out of place fearing others may suffer from your mistakes you keep making.

Fortune Cookie Karma

Today, something unique happened. I got a rerun fortune cookie fortune. For the second time I got, "You will be successful in the field of computer technology."

Just for once I would like to see these Confucius tainted stale pastries doubt themselves and add some sort of retraction like, "You'll be a great programmer...oh wait...girls like you! Never mind."

But then my imagination would add another message on the back like: "But don't worry they all want to be your sister. Or at your age - see you as a gentle grandfather that can live legally within school zone limits. "

Still, getting older is something I'm good at and I don't mind it. Although, I'm having flashbacks of J Alfred Prufrock's Long Song where instead of eating a peach, I made a hot cup of Ovaltine. My youthful standard is a hot cup of strawberry Quik. (All non-believers say, "GROAN.") That choice made me ask if there were any nearby children to yell off my lawn.

Sigh. I really wish I didn't have to sleep. I would like to sit here and type for a while. But I'm very close to embarrassing myself again. That's another proud skill of mine. Besides I have to be successful in the field of computer technology tomorrow.

Play Dough Means I Missed You

Jade made me a surprise this afternoon.

Things Wives Dont Want To Hear Off the Plane

Been returns home today. I've been alone for a week. I could not help the urge to think up really goofy things that would be inapropriate to say like:

"Honey, I'd like you to meet my new Fed Ex Bride! Oh, and we have to talk about the house."

"Wow you smell like poo."

"Sigh. I thought you would be longer. "

"Where's Jade?"

"You didn't cancel that Weight Watchers subscription, did you. No reason. "

"Bye. I've got 2 o'clock flight to be with your sister."

"Here, hold this."

"I've finally discovered myself and my destiny is to follow The Killers World Tour. Don't look at me like that. I don't want to talk about the Coldplay incident. "

"That's not Jade! It's a Cylon!"

All within an Introduction

My short story course asked for an introduction and I went a bit overboard. So, here's what I told them. Apologies to Brenda and Suzy: ;-)

Hello, my name is Paul R Smith. I have to put in the middle initial to keep me separate from all the other Paul Smiths you may know. People often mistake me for the other, dare I say, imitations. Often they misatake me for the ex-boyfriend who chased after their college roomate. I’m not him. I’m Paul R Smith. I am married and have made no passes at her former roommate. At least, nothing anybody saw.

Sadly, I’m a writer trapped in a successful computer expert’s body. I actually bought my first computer to help me increase my writing output. Instead, it very much killed that output and took over my entire life. There is a tragedy of being too good at what you do when deep down you know you made a wrong turn. My friends and loved ones know me as the guy who can fix any computer issue. I’m known as the gadget geek. I have an iPhone and a Kindle. Heck, one of the people I’ve helped professionally is now the CEO of Chrysler. I’m sought after for tech recommendations. But I never invited to the really good parites that most English majors get to go to. The kind of parties hosted and attended by really interesting people. The kind my wife’s college roomate goes to.

Still, I don’t advertise what I really yearn for - barring this entry. I just quietly take my writing courses and hand in my assignments late. (cough cough) It all boils down to I’m too afraid to tell the world I’m a writer. Whenever I say it, I keep hearing that inner critic voice asking what was the last thing I published. I can only shrug and mumble some blog posts, a few twitter observations, and the occasional “getting to know you” forum posts .

My problem, in the words of Yoda, is that I can not finish what I started. I’m 0 for 4 for Nanowrimo. I have a filing cabinet filled with unfinished short stories. And all my poems are the same one line, “Roses are R...” I can’t finish anything because I let life interrupt me from this eternal beacon. And after the siren’s call of the other thing passes, it’s too late. I’ve lost the story. It becomes time to start something else I can’t finish.

This time however, I’m making the commitment to get this work done. I will get the work done. I will get the two stories finished and sent out. Despite an economic collapse and learning a new job. I realize the distractions will continue.

We computer people always believe in keeping a good regular backup. So I will coninue to write. But I will start to finish. I have great support over here. And even my wife breathes a sigh of relief to see me going forward. Especially, when she erased her former roomate’s phone number off my phone.