Paul R Smith Dot Com

Sigh, Emeril Lagasse's Live Show Cancelled

Emeril Gets Cancelled

His live show has been going for 10 years.  I question why the Food Network would cancel him, and add another show with Rachel Ray.  She's nice, but she's not even a trained chef.  And, seriously 40 dollars a day?  I'd watch a show where they leave her in an undisclosed town with 40 dollars and see what happens.    She doesn't need another travelling show.  She needs to stay at home, eat some Ritz, and behave. 

All right, I'm sorry, but if you want to have some fun do a google search on her marriage and see all the, "marriage is on the rocks" and "marriage is fine" debates.  Honestly, I don't care.   ;-)

Sigh, Jade still calls her powdered sugar "Bam" from watching the show. 

Doritos: Why Must You Torment Me So...

Long ago before the Age of Brenda, the good people of Frito Lay developed a flavor called Taco Dorito.  I loved them and quickly substituted them for most of the solid food in my diet.  This was back when I had a metabolism. Then Frito Lay canceled the flavor.   Those bastards didn't even call me. When I was told, I was a little upset.  But I regained my self control.  And after a pulling a few strings, the supermarket agreed not to press charges. 

Then a few years later, they got a license with Taco Bell.  (For some reason they thought it would help.) They released the same flavor as....Taco Supreme.  Again, I got my major food group back.  But I was newly married now.  A few weeks later Bren found us when she came home early one day.  Still, life gave me a second chance.  With intense counseling and a few electric shock treatments, Bren and I put our lives back together. 

Now, it's 2007.   I have a family and a reputation as one of the nation's most prolific bloggers.  Success and money are now fruits within my reach.   On a quiet night, this cute little bag winked at me and the next thing I know, I'm in a cheap hotel with snack chip powder all over my body.

But don't worry. I'm in control.  I can quit at any time.  (twitch twitch twitch)

Why I Need Starbucks

I have a 5km race in about an hour and half.  I could stay at work, but I’ve already been there for over 9 hours.  My race is 15 minutes away from where I work so going home is pointless. So my place of choice is Starbucks.  Now, I know the naysayers who lament the corporate image of seeing these places every where, but I don’t have the luxury of finding a place like that in Farmers Branch.  I can find excellent Mexican food, but the end result of that delicious meal would not be good for running 30 minutes straight in 92 degree heat.

Starbucks cornered the gray area between work and home.  Yeah, their coffee sucks, but their unique coffee-like beverages makes this my remote heaven.  I feel at ease here.  It reminds me of my many Long Island book store runs I went with close friends. I love this place so much I want to remodel my house to look like one.  But I don’t think I could get the drive-thru approved with the homeowners association.   No sense of adventure with those people.

Still, there are a few things about Starbucks that drives me crazy.  That cardboard ring that takes keeps your hand away from the heat of the beverage.  It’s like holding your lovers hand and she’s wearing mittens. To me, that warmth is a familiar comfort.  There are few pleasures that can out “ahhhhh” a warm beverage in your hand.  Still, most people call that same feeling “getting burned” or “arrrggh” or, sometimes, “Get it off me! Get it off me!”  I feel you need to live a little and eventually you get used to the smell of burning flesh.

Another gripe of mine is whenever the Starbucks station plays Bob Marley.  I have nothing against the lost Reggae icon personally.  It’s just I know somewhere there’s a research scientist feverishly typing away at her trusty laptop.  She suddenly hears “La la la la la” and a soothing beat.  She thinks of cruises, warm clear water, beaches, and really strong native men.   The next thing you know, she’s booking her one way ticket to Cozy Island on Expedia.  Pop.  She leaves her laptop behind and she’s out the door.  There goes the cure for cancer.  Or worse.  Somewhere, we might have already lost the cure for the dreaded Nintendo thumb.