Paul R Smith Dot Com

Smart Car Test Drive Cardiac Arrest

The new Smart car is coming to the US in 2008.  It's one of the candidates to replace my not so trusty Saturn of 10 years. I like the tiny size and the gas mileage.  And I can officially announce a premature midlife crisis by getting a convertible one on the cheap, as long as I can take the heat stroke.   Also, the car has good pickup for a lawn mower.  Plus many of the advertisements stated this tiny car is very safe if you can ignore a few of Newtons laws. 

Well, this picture was the fun line we stood in for 2 hours to get a chance to "test drive" the car.   They shortened the test drive so everyone could get a chance to sit behind the wheel and drive for a few feet.  If you were really lucky, you got to turn the steering wheel.   Oh, and the drive was in a really ugly traffic area near downtown Dallas.  This is a part of Dallas they are trying to "re-vitalize" with expensive restaurants and vacant storefronts. 

Well, after a couple of hours we made it to the trailer.  Jade walked in with me and mom walked to the other side to wait for Jade and I to come out.  That was until Jade did her little ninja trick and disappeared.  So after I'm frantically looking underneath every object in the trailer, I overhear indignant non-parent types shouting phrases like, "Can't believe the parents aren't watching.".and "I never would have yatta-yatta out of sight for more than..." oh and "Let's call Fox news." 

I follow the muggle's babble until I find my very frightened daughter in tears lamenting she can't find her mommy and what horrible parents she must have.  If I was just a few minutes too late, she could have had a mini-series and book deal all signed up.  I quickly picked her up and hurried over to where Mommy was waiting before HBO showed up with a half finished script.  The whole experience lasted about 1 minute 35 seconds, but it haunted me for the rest of the day, including the test drive which was a disaster.  Apparently, I can't follow directions after I caught the Smart car rep in a lie.   But that's another story.

For now, I'm typing away next to the small one who is complaining that my typing is keeping her up.  And that is okay with me.  She still has to worry about my future book deals.

NIGHTMARE RETURNS!

A live photo from this evening.  Bren found a very dishevled thiner black cat.  After a quick bath, we immediately made Nightmare feel right at home.

Thanks for your comments.  Sorry for the worries, but this is a small miracle. Nightmare has never left the house and...well..there are NO small animals around our house except for a declining amount of rabbits.

In short, there are no outdoor cats here.  Fortunately for us, there is one less out there. 

The Nightmare Was Thought To Be Gone Entry (editted)

(Read the next entry where Nightmare returns.  See...it's like a comic book.)

Sorry for the sad news.  The picture is about 3 or so years old.  But a   protective black cat protects a baby named Jade.   Fast forward three years later, Jade would cry over a toddler injustice, Nightmare would run over to check on her. 

Sadly, yesterday morning Nightmare got out of the house.  She was  very good at sneaking out.  But we always brought her back in and scolded her for leaving through the door.  Yesterday, she ran out before we left for work.  We did not know she was gone.  She did not come back.  With our house right next to a well used train track along with packs of coyotes, the hawks, etc, we fear (and believe) the worst.  No small outdoor pets survive here.   Nightmare has not returned for almost 2 days.  She's an indoor cat and has never left the house...ever.

The worse part was telling Jade.  She broke down and cried, "I want Nightmare back!" All of us here are very sad.  Nightmare always slept next to me in the bed and kept rubbing her head against my laptop to get my attention.  The worst part is we never did get to say goodbye. 

Again, despite her aggressive nature, she was a good cat.  And she put up with a lot of Jade's clumsy petting.  We will miss her.

Chicago 2007 Marathon Was A Disorganized Disaster

CNN Story that gets it wrong

If you read the CNN story, you would think, "Wow, record heat.  People should not run in high humidity when it's 89."

However, there have been plenty of marathons hitting those temperatures with that kind of humidity.  I should know. I ran one in January.  The Walt Disney Marathon had the same exact conditions.  Hot, humid, 89 degrees, record heat for that day in Florida, and an overwhelming sense of I really needed a new hobby while running. 

Look, I'm not an expert runner.  I'm barely a novice, but I've run a lot of races.  I've read reports on the race running out of water and Gatorade at the SECOND water stop and then on.  People were going for many miles without getting any liquid.  As a point of comparison, I ran this evening (85 degrees, no humidity, but it was dark) for 10 miles and I sucked down about 42 ounces of water I carry with me.  It's basically the size of a Super Big Gulp.   These guys got nothing in the sun for more than that distance. 

Chicago Marathon Forums

The above link has the real story.   Here's a snippet from someone talking about his wife:

"I just listened to the news as they declared adequate supplies. According to my wife stations 2-9 had nothing. She was in the 5:30 pace group. The first Gatorade she saw was mile 11.1. Also, my daughter volunteered at the 11 mile aid station. She said they ran out of water and cups. Eventually they located more water and cups, but not until thousands likely went by desperate for hydration. My wife also reported seeing people standing in line in Lincoln Park for drinking fountains...and even people forced to desperation drinking from decorative fountains."

If I can beg a favor, could you please digg this story right here

The good news is my friend Patrick did finish the race in 4 and half hours, but I'm sure he has some stories to tell. 

Darth Jade

We have a problem.  It's Halloween.  Jade's not sure what she wants to be for Halloween.  Okay, that's a lie.  The picture to her right is what she picked out when she last went through the costume section of target.

Problem?  Well, yes, if all of your family, friends, and semi-know associates think you're pushing your daughter away from being, "a princess" like the other 30493 people her age. 

Well, that and I don't have it in my heart to dress her up in her eBay Unicorn costume for the third year in a row. (There are advantages to Jade not growing.)

Also, we are having a hard time finding a costume her size.  And the fact that one of her favorite movies is Spaceballs and she calls herself, "Dark Helmet."

Doritos: Why Must You Torment Me So...

Long ago before the Age of Brenda, the good people of Frito Lay developed a flavor called Taco Dorito.  I loved them and quickly substituted them for most of the solid food in my diet.  This was back when I had a metabolism. Then Frito Lay canceled the flavor.   Those bastards didn't even call me. When I was told, I was a little upset.  But I regained my self control.  And after a pulling a few strings, the supermarket agreed not to press charges. 

Then a few years later, they got a license with Taco Bell.  (For some reason they thought it would help.) They released the same flavor as....Taco Supreme.  Again, I got my major food group back.  But I was newly married now.  A few weeks later Bren found us when she came home early one day.  Still, life gave me a second chance.  With intense counseling and a few electric shock treatments, Bren and I put our lives back together. 

Now, it's 2007.   I have a family and a reputation as one of the nation's most prolific bloggers.  Success and money are now fruits within my reach.   On a quiet night, this cute little bag winked at me and the next thing I know, I'm in a cheap hotel with snack chip powder all over my body.

But don't worry. I'm in control.  I can quit at any time.  (twitch twitch twitch)